lessons learned

Today was my first "Acts + Missions" class with Pastor Rathbun, whom I had always heard of as a spectacular teacher, etc. Being my first class with him, naturally I was a tad bit anxious of what was in store for me---the unknown. So I entered the classroom early this morning, curious to find out what this class was all about and what I could learn from it. The class began, and I found myself absolutely captivated by the book of Acts, which, I am sorry to say, has never really happened before. We read it together, verse by powerful verse, and each word seemed to jump straight off the page and right for me. I found new meaning in every verse, which I have heard countless times before, as Pastor Rathbun slowly scraped off the surface to the real heart of each phrase. I learned a lot in the class today, yet I must admit, I learned more from one of our breaks than I did from the class itself. As we began our break, Pastor Rathbun wanted to talk to us a little bit from a part of Scripture that was unrelated to the class. To make a long story short, he told us that we are not at this school to see how much better we can be than those around us; we should not compare ourselves to others or ask them how they did merely to see if we outdid them. We are at this school to see what we can learn about God and apply that to our lives. We are to do our best for God, but even if we get not-so-good grades, that is not the important thing. We are attending this school to be trained to serve God in any capacity. That is the goal. And, I have to say, this pierced my heart. Although it doesn't seem to be a very deep, thought-provoking subject, it was something I needed to hear. At times I didn't even realize it, but in the nervousness of starting at a new school, a lot of the nervousness was a result of me constantly thinking about how the other people would view me. I was worried about my grades, my friends, having my dad as a teacher---I felt so much pressure, so many expectations, that it was becoming a problem for me. It came to the point where my reason for doing well was to make my dad happy and be the perfect, cookie-cutter student I felt was expected of me. I don't know what the other students think of me, or what they expect of me, and though there is still pressure, I realized today that that is not what matters. What matters is what I can take home from all my classes and treasure in my heart. That's why I decided to go to this school in the first place, right? I wanted to learn more about God and His Word, so I could use it in my life and be a better witness for my Savior. And even though I feel intensely inadequate and unknowledgable about the Bible, my job is to focus on me and God, not me and other students. With that said, I am no longer anxious about Pastor Rathbun's class, as I found him to be not only an excellent teacher, but a real, practical person. I felt I shared a little of his appreciation for singing praise to God and for the creation around us. And I am impressed by his knowledge and wisdom. You never know when or where you're going to learn something new, so make sure you're ready and willing to learn it.