realization

Ya know, sometimes I feel so old, looking at my nieces and nephews grow up and being now considered "an adult" on church camping trips and what not. Yet at the same time I feel utterly immature and consequently very young for my age. Like now, for instance. I just got off the phone with my very dear and best friend, Cassandra. We briefly talked about how tomorrow will be the last time we can hang out and chat before she gets whisked off to the land of PBU. Every once in a while I'll think about how fast time goes, which is what I did today. I look at Cassandra, and it feels like we only met a couple of months ago. The events of "yester year" seem so close to me, but in reality they are long gone in all but memory. I have gotten so accustomed to being the younger person---constantly watching my older siblings have so much fun with their friends; wishing that my senior year would be just as cool and fun as James'; listening to my sister talk to her fiance-to-be on the phone at night; counting down the years until I became a teenager and had my own car; watching people around me go off to college and become independent. I still see my life this way. I still feel like the 9-year-old that's inside me. I still look up to the people around me and think of when all that cool stuff will happen to me. Then all of a sudden, I'm like--OW!! reality just smacked me in the face! I am going to be 18 in three months; I have a car; I graduated; I'm going to college; I'm considered a young adult. How did this happen? I don't remember being trasformed into a moderately mature human being who now has bills and responsibilities. All this hit me just now when I got off the phone with Cassandra. She is leaving at the unnervingly early hour of 5am to drive down to PBU with her parents. My best friend is leaving me! We're not old enough yet! I scared myself when I mentioned to Cassandra that she was moving her life down to PA, etc. Her life! The whole of her is temporarily moving down to PA....I don't know if I can get used to this idea. But, I suppose I shall have to. I will miss her and my former life, but I know that God changed my life for a reason. I can already see some small results of my new life, and I hate to admit it, but they're good results. Who knew God only wanted good things for me? I guess I did....just didn't want to admit it. Now, after mulling all this over, I am still sad that my life as I knew it is over, but I am looking forward to the new life that God has already arranged for me. I know He won't let me down. All I have to do is trust what He has said in the Bible.....He "will never leave me nor forsake me."