eleven days from now

It only just became real to me. I've been expecting it for some time now, wishing it would never actually come. The day. That one day in my big brother's life.....his wedding. I am so unbelievably happy for him, and yet it kills me. In eleven days, things are going to be very, very different. He will now no longer be just my big brother, he is going to be a husband. A HUSBAND. Not only that, but a husband that doesn't live here anymore. I just started freaking out about it only a few moments ago, when I overheard him and his wife-to-be talking about how excited they were that their wedding day is just around the corner, because they've been waiting their whole lives for it, etc. And I instantly found myself thinking, "but he's MY brother!! He lives HERE, he's MINE! I don't want him to leave!!" What's worse is that Joseph probably doesn't even know how much I'm going to miss him being here. I mean, we only just started becoming friends, and with him moving out and me going off to college like a little traitor, I don't know how we'll ever be close. It's weird, it really, really is. I am happy for him, I honestly am. I just am going to miss knowing that he's on the other side of my wall, watching tv or talking on the phone; I'll miss hearing his car pull in the driveway at midnight every night, and seeing his hair products and contact stuff strewn all over our bathroom. This is a very big change, and I know I'll get used to it eventually, but that will never change how much I'll miss him.