rainy day = reflection

I am so so so thankful for the friends that I have. Because, I tell ya, if it weren't for them, I'd probably be sitting in a chair holding a half-woven basket, with a blanket over my lap, staring deep into the wall. And maybe with a straight jacket hanging over the railing of my bed. Alright, so maybe that is a little extreme, but it's close. I am so glad that God gave me level-headed friends to keep me in check. Every time something happens, I have the tendency, at first, to get carried away by my emotions....whether good or bad. And, if I did not have these friends of mine to talk to, listen to, and learn from, I can assure you I would be a basket case, always up in arms about something. Granted, I do let my emotions get the better of me on occasion, but I hope....I HOPE I am learning and getting better at dealing with situations that arise.

I am still searching for that needle in the haystack.........the right college. I don't know where or when I will find it, but I am searching. I don't know if the fact that I can't find a good college around here means that I am supposed to go away to college, or if it means I'm supposed to stay where I am, or if it just means there is no good college in the field I want. I don't know if I'm being lazy and not looking hard enough, or if I am and just not finding it. I don't know if God is trying to keep me here, or if it is just my logic taking me over. I don't know if I'm supposed to give everything up and go to a far away college, labelled as "undecided", and just wait there for a message from God. I don't know if I'm just supposed to stay here and minister to my church and wait for a proposal from some poor, ignorant guy who has loads of money. I just do not know.