no such thing as average

I don't get it. Why does everything I say get picked apart, so that it becomes something it was not intended to be? Why does a thing that I take so seriously always seem to amuse other people? Why do the things I long to do seem so unimportant and unnecessary to everybody else? I try and try and try.......and for what? To me, I have made so many improvements in different areas of my life. But to others, what I want is not what they think is needed. Why does this happen to me? I didn't used to care all that much about my spiritual walk and how I could serve God. Now that I feel I have come to a place where I am looking to God for guidance and I really sincerely do care about my spiritual walk with God, it seems like it's not good enough. When I don't care and just do whatever, people compliment me. Yet, when I really try my best, that's when I get the message from other people that what I want to do for God is not good or spiritual enough. The things that God is calling me to are not huge worldwide-revival type things, but more like vbs-in-the-backyard type things. And when I talk to other people about going to college for certain things, they just smirk at me and say...oh, you don't need to go to college for that. What is that supposed to mean?! Granted, I'm not 100% sure what I want to major in should I change schools next year, but who cares?! The types of things I have a desire for are not necessarily of "Master of Divinity" material, but that should not matter. God put these desires inside me for a reason. Doesn't God call people to do the little things? Doesn't He use people to accomplish His tasks from behind the curtain? Yes He does! So why do I get all these looks and comments from people just because I have a desire for an "average" job and an "average" ministry in the church? Just because what I'm interested in is a little different and not as pretigious as the "theologian" or the "accountant", that does not mean that what I want to do is not important. Aaahh!! I get so stinking frustrated with people constantly telling me (even if not in words) what I'm supposed to be! The only people who know that are God and me. The perspective I have on different issues is not a wrong one, just a different one. So how come I get treated like I don't know what I'm talking about? God calls some to be center-stage, and others to be back-stage. Some to be great preachers and theologians, and others to be the lay-people in the church. So what does it matter, as long as you are doing what God has for you?? I am just so sick of people expecting me to be just like everyone else. God made me different, and that's how I intend to be----just me. No one else. I swear people think it's a joke when I start talking about spiritual matters and what I think God is leading me to. Do I really portray myself that superficially? None of us are righteous enough to judge another. Only God can be the Judge of our motives, intentions, and actions. I don't know.....there must be something about the way I talk and think that just makes people jump into accusation mode. In my heart, I know that God is leading me, even if I don't know the exact job yet. I have given my future to Him, and I know He will work it out. So despite what anyone says, I will keep going. I will not conform to whatever it is they want me to be. We are all different, and we all have a unique job to do for the glory of God. So let's stop judging and critiquing other people, and just get going!